Spending time together is really what makes great marriages work. There are always stresses in life that we all have to take care of. But, when time is available, take advantage and MAKE time for the one you love.
There is an old saying that says the way you choose to spend your time very clearly defines your priorities. No doubt, we all have to find ways to pay the bills. So in terms of supporting yourself or your family, that does have a high priority. And no doubt also, children require your attention if you have them. But, it’s super important to ensure you find time for each other after work and kids. And remember, kids are great, but if you had kids with your partner, your partner came before the kids did. And if you’re in a marriage where kids came before your partner, remember that the kids will grow up someday and will leave for their own lives. In a perfect world, you’ll be a part of it, but it will be different. You and your spouse will have a lot of time on your hands as the kids become adults. Ensure that relationship transitions easily.
It is certainly very easy to fall into the trap of letting kids and work consume your life such that there is no time left for each other. That’s usually when marriages and relationships suffer and fall apart.
It’s also important to ensure that any hobbies don’t overtly interfere in your relationship. For example, if someone is a golfer, it is important to ensure that the other partner doesn’t feel like golf is more important than them. And that applies to both partners, no matter what each other’s independent hobbies and interests may be.
In our opinion, both partners must always KNOW that the other is the most important person in their life. And the best way to show your partner that you care is to schedule and spend time together. Of course, our favorite activity is Cooking and Wine for Lovers nights. But there are a myriad list of different things couples can do together. From playing scrabble, watching your favorite TV shows together, going out to dinner, going to the movies, spending time with friends, etc.
One of our favorite things that has really helped us stay together is doing short trips when we can. No doubt, long vacations are awesome, but we’ve found that even one-night getaways really make a big difference and enhance your relationship. Whether you go somewhere familiar or explore somewhere new, the time together brings you closer. We’ve done a whole bunch of short trips that were only one night away and less than 48 hours. The great thing about little trips like these is that you don’t need vacation from work, and you can usually make a weekend out of short trips. Find out what is around where you live and several interesting places you would like to visit. Make a plan and DO IT! Plus, you can generally do short trips without breaking the bank.
Next to Cooking and Wine Nights, we feel short trips are one of the best way to keep your love alive or rekindle a love that might have been lost due to work, kids, etc. Check out our travel videos on the Travel part of this blog to see some of the things we have done. It’s always so fun to travel together with the one you love.
DISCLAIMER: Neither Melissa or Kurt are trained therapists or marriage counselors. We are simply sharing our thoughts on what has worked for us over our 10 years of marriage and enabled us to be more in love today than the day we got married. We also learned a lot from previous unsuccessful marriages and are sharing some of those lessons.